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C-Section - Do Not Put Too Much Faith in Your Superpower

All my life, I've been fearful of pain. As if I have always ached more than others, a minimal tolerance. But come pregnancy, I have gained some superpowers, that is, superthoughts - I can do that, I want it, I desire it, the best for my baby - a natural birth. I even considered the option of home birth!!

Even though my gynecologist advised me a cesarean due to my chronic diagnosis, I interpreted that he is proposing it for his own ease and wish for profit. I am awaiting the natural birth with resolve, without any previous talks even with an anaesthetician. If other women can do it, so can I.

The birth starts two weeks early, it is Sunday night. My gynecologist/obstetrician is on vacation out of the country, and his colleague, who was to take over in case of earlier birth only starts working from tomorrow! I am giving birth in a public hospital in a foreign country - in Romania. Full of confidence in myself, mother nature, and Romanian public health services, I am giving birth without arranged and agreed doctors and doula. The delivery room is connected to the labor and postpartum rooms. Two women are resting, they gave birth in my presence without a sound, one is being induced and I am assessed. Two midwives play Serbian music (folk) to put me at ease, and I am the only one to be heard. Although I attended the breathing training and the entire birth training program, I cannot apply it because my contractions are strong and frequent. I was hot, although i was in a light nightgown, and the doctor warned the nurses NOT TO LET ME UNDRESS, since it is, i guess, indecent and improper ?!?! Within three hours I ask for epidural! The anaesthetician on duty refuses to give it to me because my blood lab results are more than a month old, and the equipment in the hospital is presently out of order. The pain is so strong and frequent that I don't know whether to jump or contract. I am the only one walking the halls and who is heard. A doctor who comes to look at me a short time before 7AM gets a reflex kick and heavy Serbian swearing when he attempts to examine me. They decide that the next shift should do the c-section on me!!

The last half hour was unbearable. When the surgery was ready, a woman anaesthetician asked me if I wanted epidural or total, I chose the faster - total. I climbed the maternity bed with difficulty and fell asleep in a few seconds.

At Intensive care, a cleaner offers me a postpartum belt for some money. For the first time I do not think myself better, I buy it, use it and bless it!

I recovered fast, took strong pain relief medication that doctors offered if we needed them, and left the hospital on Saturday. Although I went by cab, I felt I could drive myself, and was sorry that I didn't come by my car!?!?

My scar is not visible.

For the second child, I'll be ready for all options and will listen to doctors and experienced women.

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