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Moms and Dads with Superpowers

Every day I wonder more and more why Marvel doesn’t offer moms and dads to make a movie franchise that will show all the superpowers parents have. What Aquamen, Ant-Men, Ironmen and other men, parents should have their five minutes of glory! 

Let’s put the seventh art aside, nowadays parents need to have sophisticated organizational, speaking, psychological, evaluative, and perhaps even clairvoyant skills in order to cope with all the challenges of modern parenting. Starting from the first day of a child’s birth to the moment they leave our lap into the world forever.

First of all, we have to have a lot of patience. Patience to endure all fears, stresses and worries. And, God bless me, other parents. When I say other parents, I mean those parents who annoy these parents. Ma, I’m sure you know which parents I mean! Those parents whose children spoke at three, walked at six and ran a marathon at 11 months. Those parents who persistently put us with inferiority complexes and a strong feeling that we have given birth to mediocre children. So we catch ourselves talking to the kids: "You are seven years old and you are only in the first grade?! There's that little neighbour’s son preparing his doctorate!"

When I gave birth to my first child, I exclusively breastfed for the first six months. I have enthusiastically become a member of many, as I like to call them, mommy’s groups on social media. But, don't be fooled! These moms feed their children quail milk, fairy powder and dragon tears! And then those kids get potty trained right by their first birthday! And kids of mine who ate potatoes, carrots, bananas and apples got potty trained when they were three years old... Yes, yes...

Also, parents have great magical powers. Because when a child tells his parents in the late evening that he needs to make a relief depiction of hills and valleys for school tomorrow, then we, hocus pocus, create it! Here I would add the power of teleportation, because when you at the same time wipe the ass of one child, another asks you to get a colouring book and crayons from the shelf and the third spills a glass of water on the parquet, then we press a button on our watch and in an instant we are in all places at the same time! Yes, yes...

The next power that parents have I would point out is that we are omniscient. You know, we have Google knowledge. When our children are a thousand whys - we are a thousand becauses. We know everything we need and we don’t need! Why is the blood red, why is the sun rising in the east, why do our eyes water when we yawn, why we have armpits, why can't we catch our breath... Yes, yes...

Uh, let’s not forget the great culinary skills too! We have to be Jamie Oliver, to say the least! Because one child wants to eat macaroni Bolognese, another wants beans, a third wants pie... Maybe it wouldn't be worse to consider the possibility of offering a buffet or an à la carte option? And don't, for God's sake, ever ask a child what kind of cake he/she wants for his/her birthday because he/she will say that he/she wants a strawberry cake and then the night before the birthday he/she will say that he/she wants a chocolate cake. Because we parents have secret chambers with all the confectionery utensils you can imagine and there we make cakes as desired, like on a production line! Yes, yes...

And finally, we do our best to convince our children, on a daily basis, that they are no less smart and less valuable and less successful than the children of the parents I mentioned in the third paragraph because they do not go to flute, English, Spanish, Japanese, arithmetic, ballet, swimming, solfeggio, painting and acting ... Because the most valuable thing they can have is a beautiful and carefree childhood. Because they are children only once and never again. And they have their whole lives ahead of them to be what they want to be. Of course, with a little help from superheroes mom and dad and their superpowers.


Author: Mom Dada


 

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